Because Crystal Balls Don’t Work For Me

Unfortunately, the people who unfollowed me over my recent post won’t get to read this but: Be Awesome and Get Laid was a joke. Don’t get me wrong; I do hope, fervently, that you are awesome and that you do get laid! With as many enthusiastically consenting partners as you desire! Apologies to my Karens, though, who are just here for the dollhouses: this isn’t a G-rated blog. Although, speaking as the mother of an eight year old, today’s ratings don’t seem to mean all that much. But I digress! I’ve been swapping out covers, and titles, each more ludicrous than the last, on various social media platforms.


To see what would happen, of course! This is experimentation! Mr. Business and I like to fix ourselves a couple of drinks and spitball titles. Inevitably the parodies begin and we find ourselves, eventually, at the worst of the worst: romance. How bad is His Throbbing Cock, really, compared to what’s actually on Amazon? Nobody ever even explained what was “fifty shades” about the criminally insane Mr. Grey? Was he, like, really, really into spray tanning? Sometimes I end up with two or three titles that speak to me. As philosophies go, I’m a big fan of work smarter, not harder. Why waste my time trying to predict which title people might like best when I can just ask them?

Sometimes crazy titles work. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes, my friends, I think we all take ourselves a little too seriously.

PS: I don’t claim to have intelligence of any sort, I just like the quote.